I’ve reached an interesting milestone in my life.
The Halfway Point
Some people call it the point of no return, because we’ve gone so far that going back would take longer than just finishing the journey.
No, I don’t mean that I’m middle aged (even though technically I am), because I’m only as old as I feel, not as old as my driver’s license says. And I don’t feel old (well, except when I listen to the radio–not kidding–and when my friends’ kids are in high school or older–yes, I do have a kid in high school, but that’s beside the point). I don’t feel all grown up even when I pay bills.
Which I love, by the way, because people never believe me when I say how long I’ve been married. “Did you get married when you were 12?” is a common response.
This week, we celebrate our 21st anniversary.
Can you do the math? I’ll wait while you calculate…
*hums “The Wedding March”*
I’ve been married for as long as I wasn’t married before that.
For half my life, I’ve been married.
Finished with that math yet?
Yep, I got married when I was 12. JUST KIDDING.
If you can’t do the math, I can’t help you. I’m a writer, not a mathematician. 😀
My life as a Beebe is now longer than my life before that. (I feel as if I’m channeling Mojo Jojo from the Power Puff Girls with all the redundancy flying around here.) People who haven’t done the math can keep wondering how old I was when I got married. *evil Mojo laugh*
Looking back, I was a baby, just graduated from college and clueless about a lot of things. There was one thing that my 21-year-old self knew that my 30ish-year-old self forgot and ran away from: I loved to write. She embraced my twisted dark side (you wouldn’t know by looking at me, would you?). She took risks. Then she turned 30ish and lived a little and lost a lot and got scared.
Walking down that aisle was the point of no return for me (I came with a no-guarantees, no refunds, no exchanges policy–and my husband knew it. 😉 ).
We knew when we met that we would marry. I was a love-at-first-sight nonbeliever before that moment.
Twenty-one years later, I’ve also gone past the point of no return in regards to writing. Wherever it leads me, I’ll keep writing. My 40ish-year-old self has kicked that scared 30ish-year-old self out. She’s been banished for not writing for so many years because that twisted dark side was too scary to go along with the sadness she felt at the time (I might share that someday, or not). She didn’t understand then how that darkness could lead to light and healing–and more freaking scarediness that leads to more even light.
I understand it now. And I used it in one of my novels. (That’s probably the extent of the sharing.)
So enjoy your points of no return and don’t let the potential road blocks derail your journey getting there. And if you do, embrace the kick in the gut and become a better person because of it.
I’m grateful for my honey–my partner–for all these years. We’ve been through some hard times together and are stronger for it.