Thor Isn’t a Native Texan…

But he got here as fast as he could.

If you’re a native Texan, you know what I mean.

When Debra Kristi said that Thor wanted to tour the world, I jumped at the chance to show him my little piece of Texas.

Thor thought it might be nice to have one of these lovely steeds go home with him.
Thor thought it might be nice to have one of these steeds go home with him.

The first thing he asked about was whether we had cows or horses.  Uh, no.

Horse stealing...Nasty business

But we have this lovely collection of model horses.  They were more his size than the real thing.  I lent him a hat to wear, too.  It wasn’t exactly a cowboy hat, but straw hats are nice.  He was afraid of messing up his hair though.

Real cowboys don’t worry about hat head.

Thor found himself in some trouble with the local law.  When he saw his “Wanted” poster, he knew it would be best to leave the horses at my house.

Horse rustling is nasty business.

One day, I took him to work so he could hang out with Spidey-Spud and Darth Tater in my office.  They showed him around my bookshelf and plants.  They took turns trying to convince Thor that they could hold his hammer.  They even offered up the light saber and web!

Thor wondered about the potato-shaped men...
Thor wondered about the potato-shaped men….

Thor, being the responsible god that he is, chose to keep his hammer to himself.

"I said, 'No!' You may not hold my hammer, strange potato men." He decided that he wanted potato salad and barbeque for lunch.
“I said, ‘No!’ You may not hold my hammer, strange potato men.”

Even with those eyes flashing in anger, I think he was trying to keep the spuds from embarrassing themselves when the hammer wouldn’t let them lift it.  Only one has the humility and integrity to wield it.  Just saying.

Then he decided that he wanted potato salad for lunch.

In honor of his godliness, I took him to an NBA basketball game with two of my besties (the witch and the vampire). It was the Dallas Mavericks against none other than the OKC Thunder.

He took in the crowd and asked, “All these scantily-clad women and other mortals came here to see me?”

Uh, no.

The god of thunder cheered his team to victory.
The god of thunder cheered his team to victory.

I got worried when he complained about the OKC team’s uniforms.  “How can they not include a bolt on the jerseys?” he asked.  I told him that it was better than the other ones where “Thunder” was written on the back of their shorts. (Think about it.)  The god of thunder was appeased when he saw so many lightning bolt shirts in the stands.  He was even more pleased to hear those fans cheer when the Thunder played well.

He was a bit of a stinker during the game.  Everytime the home crowed chanted, “Let’s go, Mavs,” he countered with, “O – K – C!”  At one point, he was so thunderously loud with threats to strike the arena that I thought one of the ushers might ask us to leave.  After a nail-biting overtime, the Thunder managed to win by two points.  Thor claimed the victory as his own and hailed the Thunder players as the best in the NBA (they are pretty good).  He taunted us on the entire drive home.  No humility there.

As a gracious guest (or maybe he was still giddy from his team’s win), he thanked me profusely for the look at Texas, short that it was.  I hope he wasn’t too disappointed that some of his wacky assumptions about Texans weren’t true or that he didn’t get to steal a horse.  😉

What would you do if you hosted a god or superhero?  Who would it be?  Come on….share!

35 comments on… “Thor Isn’t a Native Texan…”

  1. Pingback: T is for Travel, Texas, and Thor! | Debra Kristi's Blog

    • Oh, NASA wouldn’t have known what to do with him. Can you imagine if he tried to fly one of the space vehicles? (It’s a good thing they take out the engines.) Thanks for stopping by!

  2. I miss Thor! I am glad he made it! I forgot to send him out before I left for Wisconsin and had to take him along and send him from there!
    It looks like you had a great time with the hot one. 🙂
    Love the poster….

    • He made it quite nicely all cushioned snug in the box. 🙂 I’ll be sad to ship him off tomorrow to his next destination. He does have a way of snagging hearts, doesn’t he?

  3. That was hilarious! I think I may have had some of those model horses when I was a kid. Did Thor’s hat belong to one of them? You did a great job on this post. Thanks for hosting him! Sorry I was late. Doesn’t it figure that today of all days I would need gas after dropping the kids off at school?

  4. Thanks for the Thursday chuckle, Diana. Sounds like Thor behaved himself fairly well. Hope he didn’t use Spidy and Darth in his potato salad.

    • Thanks! He is just full of surprises. I don’t think he cared that much about the basketball game. He liked the Texas women and the Thunder team name. 😀

  5. Thor looks hot in a sombrero. Hilarious post. Texan women and the Thunder team winning in his honor hopefully make him a happy camper in the next place.

  6. hehehe I love the wanted poster. Perfect for Texas lol. Thor is sure going to be sad when his jetsetting days are over. Then again I suppose as a god they don’t have to ever end, right?

  7. lesa7515

    I had a momentary nostalgic moment when I read about Thor’s escapades. Fortunately it swiftly passed. I have dire concerns about the potato-men and recognize that dour puss under the hat – we saw that quite often during his visit. So happy to follow Thor’s trail around the world. Onward ho!

  8. What a blast you had with Thor! The sombrero is killing me. And the fact that Debra recognizes it makes it even funnier! I am totally loving Thor’s adventures. Your post totally cracked me up and the pictures are great. I can’t imagine whose brainy idea it was to put ‘Thunder’ across the men’s shorts. Seriously? No one said, ‘Maybe this isn’t a goo idea’…?

    Can’t wait to read where Thor ends up next!

    • It really was a blast. I’m still laughing that Debra knew exactly where the hat came from.

      The basketball shorts still get me. Let me be punny and say that those uniforms are the butt of many jokes. (I know. That was bad.)

  9. Thor got kicked out of the stable when he was visiting me for fighting with Lady Croft. Glad he’s learning some better manners. Probably best he’s in Texas, if he’d come to visit me this time of year he’d had frozen in that thin little cape. 😀 Great post. Loved the poster.

    • Lady Croft may have improved his manners with women, but he nearly got in trouble with a certain horse owner. I’m glad you enjoyed his Texas adventure. 🙂 Stay warm!

  10. Hilarious! And to Thor and all other superheroes looking for a place with low taxes and a love of tough guys, I would cite Lyle Lovett’s lyrics: “That’s right. You’re not from Texas, but Texas wants you anyway.”

    P.S. Wonder Woman would do great here, already being comfortable in boots and knowing how to use a lasso.

    • That is so true! 🙂
      Great point about Wonder Woman, as long as she wears the right costume when horseback riding. Can you imagine the stylish jeans she might design? Fun!

  11. Such a fun post, Diana! It looks like you did an excellent job keeping Thor entertained during his visit. I hope I can do half as well when he stops by my little part of the world.

    Oh, and don’t worry about the wanted poster too much. I’m sure he will have his face plastered on a lot of post office walls before this tour is over! 😀

  12. Spidey Spud and Darth Tator. Oh my gosh, I never knew such things existed. Delightful story Diana. I’ve been following Thor’s adventures before and after he visited us and have really enjoyed everyone’s stories and blogs!

    • Thanks so much! Thor has had some incredible adventures that have been fun to read. 🙂 Mr. Potato Head has ventured into so many different characters now–Yoda, Batman, The Three Stooges, Wizard of Oz….

  13. Pingback: T is for Travel, Texas, and Thor! | Debra Kristi

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