Did you miss me? I’ve missed blogging and visiting other blogs and connecting with people. But taking a break is something that I needed to do.
Since my husband passed away, I’ve been navigating new waters everywhere. In all honesty, most of it hasn’t been easy, even if I’ve managed to find the positive where I can.
I thought I was broken–just to keep things real here. I was experiencing something called “widow brain” or “grief brain” that had a side effect of making reading difficult. I started reading a book and then abandoned it during the first chapter, no matter how good the book was and even if it was one of my much-read comfort books. Somehow, I managed to read ten books last year, but I’ve only been able to read a couple this year.
Reading became the absolute lowest priority in my life. I needed to spend my time elsewhere–helping my kids understand what normal looked like for us, rediscovering who I was without being the wife of a difficult man, reconnecting with family and friends, remaking our home, decluttering, and knowing that I am enough and capable of being independent.
And you know what? I love the real me. I have sweet relationships with my kids, who are amazing human beings. My partnership with my “Chapter 2” guy is beyond anything I could’ve imagined. It’s mind-blowing to be un-apologetically me and be so fully loved, supported, and accepted.
Writing is slow, but I’m writing still. I finally finished a draft for another novel. Yay! I think that’s my sixth novel. I’m going to clean it all up and start the literary agent search again. It just wasn’t a step I could work on while up to my eyebrows healing.
I’m planning to write under a pen name. There are just too many Diana Beebes out there. (I’m pretty sure several of them don’t know their own email addresses, because they keep using mine–it’s unreal how many personal information messages and service sign-up notices I’ve gotten. The vacation itinerary to Cancun was my favorite.)
I’m slower than I want to be, especially with blogging and hanging out in the interwebz. But that’s okay.
So what have I missed (besides a lot)?