On Being Strong

Diana Beebe, Mermaids Don't Do Windows, MDDW, Diana Beebe's Blog, science fiction, fantasy, young adultThere’s no good way to tell your child that her daddy passed away. That heart-wrenching moment undid me more than any other moment, ever.

More than his realization and mine that he wasn’t coming home. More than calling his dad to be with us in those last moments. More than remembering when we met and knew, just knew, we would marry and grow old together. More than thinking 23 years of marriage wasn’t long enough. More than all the phone calls I had to make. More than writing this.

That moment when Armadillo said the words I already felt deep inside my soul. “It’s not right.”

Of all the conversations I had in the days immediately following my husband’s passing, that one with her still undoes me, even now.

But LOVE is all around us. He hasn’t left us. His faith in our girls, in me, in Eternal Life has continued to uplift and comfort me.

The overwhelming outpouring of love from family and friends and coworkers makes it nearly impossible for me to thank everyone efficiently or sufficiently. My gratitude is endless and beyond adequate expression for the prayers, kind words, meals, house maintenance, notes, cards, visits, hugs, scrapbook of remembrances, simple conversations, distracting jokes, quiet company, and so many other things.

“Be strong,” he said. Those two peaceful words hold all the things we’d planned as a family of four.

I made him a promise. We intend to keep it as a family of three.

There’s no good way to tell anyone that a loved one, a dear friend, a parent has passed away.

Life does continue. Find a new normal. Be strong.

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