The Roommate Chronicles: Rabid Rabbit

Welcome to the first ever Roommate Chronicles! It’s something new here at Mermaids Don’t Do Windows.

If you’ve ever lived in a dorm room or in an apartment with roommates, then you have stories to tell, too. Believe it or not, the movie Animal House was based on true-ish events.

While my dorm life was never as crazy as that depicted in the movie, there were some, um, interesting college adventures. Some of the stories are based loosely on true (maybe) events that happened to my friends, neighbors, and me as university students. You decide which bits are true. 

I’ll never tell.

Well, I’ll probably never tell. If you know the story, don’t spoil it by posting the real names in the comments. 😉 All names have been changed or removed to protect the innocent and the guilty.

This is a good reminder not to tick off or annoy a writer.

Rabbit Stew

After standing on my feet for three hours in a dark room developing photographs, my hair and clothes smelled of film chemicals (I think that’s where my ability to smell died). All I wanted to do was take off my shoes and crash on my bed.

I unlocked my dorm room and stepped inside. Rabbit pellets covered the floor. Poop pellets, not food pellets (in case you were wondering).

The black fluffy demon twitched its nose and stared at me. I closed the door quickly, so it couldn’t escape down the hall. I didn’t want to chase it down.

Diana Beebe's Blog, Diana Beebe, science fiction, middle grade fantasy, fantasy
Innocent wild baby rabbit in my garden. NOT the black demon rabbit…

Then again, if it were to get away from me…

My roommate would be mad. Wait, why was I worried about letting her illegal pet escape, when she’d left it out of its cage to crap all over the floor? I mean, ALL over the floor. The room smelled horrible. (Some serious disinfecting was in order.)

Rather than opening the door and letting it loose to wander the hall, I chased the black beast around the room and locked it in its cage. Then I saw my bed, that place on which I wanted to crash and rest my weary muscles. The lower bunk was polka-dotted with poop pellets and stained with two huge yellow circles. Horrified and disgusted, I stripped off the bedding and went to the laundry room.

When I got back, my roommate couldn’t believe I’d put the precious critter back in its cage. She shrugged off the demon rabbit poop all over the floor AND all over my bed. She didn’t even apologize with a straight face.

My roommate must not have been human. No self-respecting human would behave that way.

No self-respecting…

That’s what it boiled down to: self respect and the respect of others.

I may have made threats. Words were definitely exchanged. Soon, the potential stew ingredient was removed from our dorm room before anyone with authority told her to find it a new home. I celebrated quietly, but this wasn’t the first thing to put a strain on our friendship.

Maybe someday I’ll tell you about the time she stole my car or “borrowed” my underwear. *shivers*

Morals to the story?

  • Don’t let “friends” make you feel guilty when they break the rules.
  • Don’t put up with destructive behavior to save a friendship that isn’t worth saving.
  • Make rabbit stew.

You can also read about my encounter with a demon squirrel on campus.

Your turn. Is this story true or false? Did I make rabbit stew? Did you ever have a roommate who couldn’t possibly have been human (because she or he wasn’t humane)? What stories do you have to tell?

12 comments on… “The Roommate Chronicles: Rabid Rabbit”

  1. You probably didn’t make rabbit stew because that would’ve entailed killing the wee beastie and doing all sorts of disgusting things with it’s innards, I Think it’s called ‘dressing’ the carcass – don’t know why. if you think about it you’re undressing it, if anything – but the rest of the story is probably true.

    • Diana Beebe

      LOL. You got me there! I didn’t have rabbit stew. I did think about it often. 😉

  2. People who don’t respect boundaries count on people who do to have good manners and be easily guilted. I feel your pain. Been there. I think my worst roommate was the one who moved in with DIRTY sheets. Seriously, she took them off her previous bed and (sort of) made the new bed with dirty sheets. They were so dirty, there was a brown spot where she slept. Her clothes reeked of sweat, too. The room was so tiny, it should have been single occupant, but the landlord was a jerk, too. I think I’d moved out within a week. (There’s your next topic. Landlords, the good, the bad, the indifferent.)

    • Diana Beebe

      I think you win the dirtiest roommate award. Sounds like she needed to be introduced to a washing machine. Ick. I’m glad you didn’t stay there long.

  3. Oh, yipes! I love rabbits, but seriously?

    We had a house-rabbit for a few years, and he was trained to use a litter pan lined with newspapers. I can’t imagine just letting him mess all over your bed like that. But you are right, it boils down to respect… a term so many seem unfamiliar with these days.

    Great post, Diana!

    • Diana Beebe

      This rabbit was not trained, even though that had been a promise.

      I imagine having a cute, trained one would have made this a different story. I’m glad you had better success with your fluffy. 🙂

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